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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?